Staying in Love: “People Seem too Crazy so I Read a Book”

The title is a line sang by Kelis on her album Food. Let me assure you that she was correct; humans are weird. No, sincerely. Recently I was hanging out with this woman who seemed cool. I was flowing, she was flowing, it had a rhythm. After our last date, we had our first kiss….

Biggest Lesson I Learned in 2018

Fly, take up space and trust your instincts. Looking back on 2018 I can say that it was a whirlwind year full of many emotions, growth and reconditioning myself to trust my internal voice. In life, we are so often taught the way that things should be: be a good student, excel academically, go to…

Staying in Love: Why I Quit Ghosting on Relationships

What exactly is ghosting? Ghosting is the act of ceasing all communication with a person without providing any explanation. This action often leaves the other person in a state of wonderment and confusion; uncertain of what they have done wrong. What are the reasons for ghosting? These are numerous and usually, case and person-specific, but…

Staying in Love: Is It Ever A Good Idea To Get Back With An Ex?

I haven’t written about relationships in a while, but I’ve been pondering this question a lot and figuring out if it is worth writing about. One of my closest friends is currently “getting to know” an ex again after not dating each other for a number of years. They have dated other people over the…

Can You Explain to Me Open Relationships?

Okay, Okay, Okay…I feel like a lot of people are sharing stories about how nonmonogamy is making them happy, but is it just me or do they all sound like they’re in monogamous relationships? Now, before you think this is a hate article, understand that I have always said that monogamy isn’t for everyone–I get…

2 Simple Ways to Ask Women Out

Happy Pride Month! Most days I’m unsure whether I’m an extroverted introvert or an antisocial extrovert, either way, I enjoy the art of flirtation. Sometimes, I even want that dance to continue beyond the present moment, though most times I don’t. In those cases, someone has to make the move and acquire the other’s number,…

Who I Am and Why I’m Here

I’ve been blogging for a few years now, but I have never taken a moment to fully introduce myself. So, here we are. When I initially began this blog it was as an extension, and eventual replacement, for the “For Your Black? Conscious” newsletter I started during my years in Chicago. The original intent of…

A Few of My Favorite Things 2018: Quarter 1

I can’t believe the first quarter of 2018 is already over! I want to take a moment to reflect on some of my favorite experiences and most used items of 2018. Here we go: 1. Maluma’s F.A.M.E. Concert As I’ve stated in other posts, concerts are one of my many favorite pastimes. In March I…

This Sterling K. Brown Interview Blessed My Life

This concise snippet of a Sterling K. Brown interview blessed my life this morning, and maybe it can do the same for you. What I find myself so drawn to about Brown is his seeming openness and vulnerability. It is truly a reminder to us all. To be more vulnerable, more honest, and more reflective…

It is what it is, not what it could be

Break the cycle in 2018. Not because it’s a new year, but because you deserve the unknown. In life, I find that it is easier for most people to circle back to what they’ve always known, instead of walking in the potential of the future. Sure, you have no idea what tomorrow may bring, but…

Part Deux: Guide to Having a Tear Free Valentine’s Day

*Sniffs the air vigorously* Anyone smell that??? *sniffs more* Ahhhhhh… I know that smell! Yes… It’s that undeniable scent of sweet nothings being engraved into small, sugar-covered tarts all around the globe. The lovely scent of roses, tulips and, carnations being snipped, wrapped and delivered to homes and office buildings alike. The pungent scent of…

Cause We Love Ourselves?

There is this poem by Nayyirah Waheed, “i loved you because it was easier than loving myself” And I think we’ve all fallen guilty of doing this at one point or another. However, the question is when do we then alter this behavior? For example, I recently shared this poem with one of my closest…

She has Already Changed My Life…

“If she ever left me I wouldn’t even be sad, cause there’s a blessing in every lesson and I’m glad that I knew her at all.” – India Arie I wouldn’t have written this chapter of my life this way. I am a woman of strong conviction. I know what’s best for me, and when….

Lessons on dating from 2016

Listen, this year has stretched me in ways I had not imagined it could. Outside of the political climate, this year has also taken me on a whirlwind ride in my dating life. My last post talked about how I was really feeling some fine ass womon; well, that ended! I must say it ended…

When Should I Walk Away?

There are many things that become easier as we get older, but dating doesn’t seem to be one of them. For the past five months, I’ve been dating this beautiful individual, but a lot of my friends are now starting to be over her a bit. Why? Well because we still haven’t officially stated in…

Rule #4 – Thou Shalt Know When to Stand Still

Rule #4 – Thou shalt know when to stand still. Theme: Self-love Situation: I have a “kindred spirit” by the name of Sunny. This individual is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met but is frighteningly incapable of being alone. What do you do when the person you love tells you that you…

“How to Do First Dates”

There are moments in your life when you read something and it resonates at a very close and relatable place. This was one of those moments for me. The writer, Ron Anahaw, is a twelfth grader from Towson, MD. His essay perfectly summarizes the first date experience. So much so that I just had to…

Rule #2 – Thou shalt know when to go back and get a good thing

Rule #2 – Thou shalt know when to go back and get a good thing. Theme: Humbleness & Self-evaluation Rule #2 – Thou shalt know when to go back and get a good thing. Situation: El, an old friend of mine, has recently gotten back into contact with “the one.” I say the one because…

From a Bachelor to You: How to Not be Lonely This Valentine’s Day

Well, well, well…ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time of year again. The time of year where all of those “Relationship Goals” posts are put to the test! Half of you all are reserving tables at lavish dining establishments, while the rest of you are compiling playlists with Bryson Tiller and K Michelle at the forefront….