“If she ever left me I wouldn’t even be sad, cause there’s a blessing in every lesson and I’m glad that I knew her at all.” – India Arie

I wouldn’t have written this chapter of my life this way. I am a woman of strong conviction. I know what’s best for me, and when.

She disrupts it all, in a very annoying, uniquely arrogant, Aries type of way. Not only does she constantly challenge me mentally, but she also cares enough to question, listen, and learn.

She asks me what my goal is with her and I tell her to change her last name. She doesn’t take me seriously.

I ask what her goal is here, sometimes she says to change my last name, sometimes she says she doesn’t know, more frequently, most recently, she says to rediscover herself and be. I mostly believe her.

We are two growing and evolving individuals who found each other at what we thought were perfect moments, only to discover, when shit got real, we both still had a lot of work on self to do. But for me, what’s most impressive about that discovery is that neither one of us ran, completely.

I don’t know where it’ll go. I don’t know if we’ll implode. More frequently than not I feel like I’ll explode, due to the unknown of it all.

She once challenged me to write about how it feels to be in the midst of it. How does it feel when you’re making decisions you’re not completely comfortable with? This is the beginning of that attempt.

I am single and floating, but I am growing. I am growing.

No matter how everything pans out, I will share and unpack…

Love hard. Go hard.

-Ms. Malcolm Hughes