Lessons on dating from 2016

Listen, this year has stretched me in ways I had not imagined it could. Outside of the political climate, this year has also taken me on a whirlwind ride in my dating life. My last post talked about how I was really feeling some fine ass womon; well, that ended! I must say it ended in a way that left both of us feeling disappointed. At least that’s what she said, “I must say I am very disappointed by the way this is ending.” To which I promptly replied, ‘you’re disappointed, I’m disappointed, it’s disappointing.’ So yeah, it pretty much sucked. Long story short, she wanted to find herself with multiple womyn, and I, having already lived out my fuck gyrl years in my early twenties, am looking for one womon I can build with.

The lesson there was listen to your first mind. There were yellow and red flags in the beginning that we both ignored because, well, to oversimplify it, we both found the other attractive, we had common familial issues, and it was cool having someone new to hang with. However, not a love relationship does that make. We knew we were probably on different pages from day one but rode it out with the possibility that maybe the other would come around. I’m pretty certain that is the last time I’ll ever do that because what life teaches me with each failed connection is what I don’t like. However, I also realized what I do like–someone who reads A LOT.

Though we didn’t work she is the first person I’ve gone out with who not only reads just as much as I do but reads the same types of books and articles as I do. It was refreshing and something I find myself missing in current prospects. WHY DON’T LESBIANS READ?! Okay, yes, that was an over generalization but I’m still standing firm on it. Where are the other beautiful lesbians who love to read and travel? Find me!

As cliche as this might sound 2016 has also reaffirmed that I am enough. Settling is a very frightening idea for me so I’m super critical and selective when choosing partners. Getting me to go on a date with you is one thing, getting me to commit to a relationship is a totally different ball game. I entered this year celibate and ready to commit to something real and I’m leaving it the same way. If it’s not something where I can build and grow a true partnership then I’m still unwilling to invest any part of me–physically, mentally, or even my time. In fact, 2016 has made that even more true.

So 2017, here is what I need from you:

-A beautiful womon who loves to read, travel, is politically aware, culturally conscious, loving, confident, goal oriented, financially knowledgeable, and thinks I’m the best thing since the moon rose in the sky.

Is that too much to ask? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

-Ms. Malcolm Hughes


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