From a Bachelor to You: How to Not be Lonely This Valentine’s Day

Well, well, well…ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time of year again. The time of year where all of those “Relationship Goals” posts are put to the test! Half of you all are reserving tables at lavish dining establishments, while the rest of you are compiling playlists with Bryson Tiller and K Michelle at the forefront. Some of you are visiting your neighborhood Vicky’s Secret retailer for furry-cuffs, while the rest of you are stocking up on Chunky Monkey and making sure that your copy of Love Jones is actually in its DVD case. Yes folks, it is Valentine’s Day 2016! Like many of you, I’ve managed to dodge Cupid’s arrow once again! As a young black male, I’ve basked in the corporate pool of Mahogany Hallmark cards and overpriced teddy bears for many Februarys, but not this year. To be completely honest, I don’t know how I feel about the whole situation. This will be my second year single on February 14th since my ex and I called it quits. Last year’s holiday was surrounded by other single companions but unfortunately their statuses have changed this year 😒. Being single has it’s perks–but it is times like these that make even the coldest of hearts yearn for a little warmth. So folks, I’ve taken it upon myself to create: THE DO’s AND DON’Ts OF BEING SINGLE ON VALENTINE’S DAY!

Tip #1: stop allowing other couples to dictate and discourage your life! I’m sure Hov has left the toilet seat up more than a few times, and Nicki has likely failed to tweet promo for a few mixtapes and albums. The point is every couple has its hiccups! We’re only seeing the outer shield of these unions, so don’t base your life off of someone else’s happiness! Focus on being your best self so you’ll be ready for that future someone. Obtain goals until that MCE/WCE arrives and that way you’ll be in an even better place to receive them. Get to know you!

Tip #2 (very important!): No matter how hard it gets this Valentine’s Day (snickers a bit), do not back track!!! Many of you will break and call/text that old fling for some much needed affection but TRAPSOUL track 5–DON’T! You’re just at a temporary low, so don’t do anything that may jeopardize your progress! Keep in mind that the relationship ended for a reason! Learn from your past mistakes! Weigh the pros and cons of what that interaction would yield, and remain strong! Those depressing ass 24 hours will soon conclude!

Tip #3: Keep an open mind while dating. Many of us have been in countless relationships that have crashed and burned only to run back to the carbon copy of that person and do it all over again. Never lower your standards, but swim outside of your shallow kiddie pool. Many of us want our partners to already own the kingdom, when it should be built. Fellas, I promise you not all women have bodies like the young ladies in the “Down in the DM” video and that’s okay!!! Ladies, not all fellas are going to have the magical ratio of 80% gentlemen and 20% hood and that’s okay!!! My point is that your partner could be sitting right under your nose and you haven’t the slightest clue because you aren’t willing to open your eyes and see! Evaluate your past relationships and realize what didn’t work! Give these “every blue moon” types a rest and see the potential in all future kings/queens.

If you’ve taken anything from these tips, I would hope that it’s the message of self-love. There are so many people that feel like they have to be in a relationship in order to feel progression and that is so unfortunate! Love yourself above all. Valentine’s Day doesn’t measure ones love or worth! The only thing it’s doing is make greeting card CEOs richer and a lot of November babies. Before you grab that gallon of ice cream, think of how dope you are with or without a guy/girl. If you’re alone on Sunday do something productive, inspire someone or make a positive change! And besides… You probably couldn’t watch Love Jones anyway… You know Keisha still got your copy!


– LS


Llewellyn Skulark is an art director/graphic designer hailing from Chicago, IL. He is owner of The Good Triumph Young graphic t-shirt brand and his work can be admired at He draws creative inspiration from music, movies and all things Kanye. You can find him on Facebook, Instagram, & Twitter @Llewelark.


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